About ritual abuse

Trigger warning: if you are a survivor of (satanic) ritual abuse, the following information will contain triggers. This whole page can be very triggering. Please be careful as you read on. Make sure you are safe before reading.

What happens?
Pieces of a survivor's story
Effects of this kind of trauma
Parts/alter personalities
The spiritual aspect
Demons
Christian perspective

Ritual abuse is a very sadistic form of systematic physical, sexual, psychological and spiritual abuse of children, adolescents and adults, in which the perpetrators use rituals to break their victims.

Mostly, but not always, these rituals are part of the worshipping of satan. And most survivors say that they have been ritually abused in this context. Goal of the perpetrators is to totally indoctrinate and program their victims with satanic ideas and practices. So usually ritual abuse takes place within satanic cults and we refer to it as satanic ritual abuse. But it is also possible that these same rituals take place in a setting of neo-nazism or other extremist groups and cults. I think we could safely assume that the source is the same and it is ALL evil.

Ritual abuse usually goes hand in hand with other kinds of abuse, within the family or outside, like incest, other kinds of sexual abuse and assault by different people, and gross neglect.

What happens?

Trigger warning: if you are a survivor of (satanic) ritual abuse, the following information will contain triggers. Please be careful as you read on. Make sure you are safe before reading.

I have thought long and hard whether or not to put this more detailed information on this web page, but I have decided to put it here, because I want to bring these things out in the light. I want to shine a light on them so it will become clear how evil these things are, like it says in Ephesians 5:13. To expose ritual abuse I have to name what they do and bring it out in the open, so survivors will be able to talk about what happened to them. Above all, this is for the survivors, to find some recognition for what has been done to them.

Click here to see a list of things that survivors have mentioned happen to them. If you are a survivor, it is probably best if you do not read this. Be safe, please.

There are a lot of people who find these things too extreme and for that reason alone decide that they don't want to believe this. Others don't want to believe these things happen, because they are afraid. And yet others might say these things don't happen, because they full well know they do but they have an interest in protecting the secret. I know for a fact that these things happen, and not to a few people, because I know a lot of survivors who have related to me what has happened to them. I consider them reliable eye witnesses.

Not believing that these things happen means not doing right by survivors, it means bringing more injustice and hurting them more. It is important that the truth be known about these things and that we realize people are capable of such evil deeds as these. Only then can we really do right by survivors and protect our precious children.

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Pieces of a survivor's story.

I have to drink. I cry, because I don't want to. He gets real mad, because I am not allowed to cry. He says I have to drink. He punishes me and then he opens my mouth and he says that I have to. I can't swallow it and I have to throw up. But then he gets more angry with me, because I am not allowed to throw up. "You have to drink!", he yells. After I have swallowed it, he leaves. I did not want to, but they say I have to.....

Mommy, mommy, where are you now? It hurts so bad. Mommy, please help me?

I curl up in a corner like a little ballAls een kleine ball. Darkness is all around me and feels heavy on me. I hear them laughing. A cruel and mocking laugh, like monsters.....
© 2000 juniper art

Effects of this kind of trauma

What are the possible effects in the lives of people who have suffered this kind of life threatening abuse?

Obviously ritual abuse has very very serious consequences. I hereby give a, by no means complete, list of possible effects and symptoms.

• Extreme and overwhelming fear and panic
• Severe and full blown post traumatic stress disorder with the following symptoms:
  - Reliving the traumatic experiences: acting or feeling as if the traumatic event were recurring, dissociative flashback episodes etc.
  - Recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections of the event
  - Fear and panic attacks
  - Nightmares and flashbacks
  - Numbness, not able to feel
  - Amnesia
  - Body memories
  - Sleeping disorders
  - Eating disorders
  - Hypervigilance
  - Exaggerated startle response
  - Agression toward self and others
  - Depression
  - Physical symptoms such as paralysis of arms or legs, numbness in parts of the body, (severe) headaches, stomach pain and pain in abdomen
  - Self-mutilating behavior
  - Suïcidal behavior
  - Sexual problems
  - Intense anger, cynicism and hostility
  - Selfdestructive behavior and being accident-prone
  - Distrust, no trust in anybody whatsoever
  - Isolation, detachment and feelings of deep loneliness
  - Depersonalisation (detachment and estrangement from self)
  - Derealisation (detachment and estrangement from others and surroundings)
  - Apathy
  - Not being able to feel and express emotions, emotional numbness
  - Extreme feelings of guilt and shame
• DID (Dissociatieve Identity Disorder – formerly known as MPD)
  Other dissociative disorders, like dissociative amnesia (memory loss, loss of time) and detachment and estrangement from self
• Survivor guilt (intense feelings of guilt about having survived the trauma, while others died due to that same trauma)
• Overwhelming and intense inner pain and anger, that is taken out on self by self injuring (for example, cutting, burning etc.) or on others (for example abusing other people or animals)
• Strong death wish, attempts to commit suicide or hurt self
  

Specific symptoms could be:

• Fear of (or obsession with) certain colors, like black, red and purple
• Fear of certain objects or symbols that were used during the abuse and torture
• Fear of churches and of the Bible
• Fear of (or obsession with) blood
• Fear of certain foods, like red meat, tomatos, red drinks etc.
• Not being able to swallow certain kinds of food
• Fear of small spaces
• Extreme fear of the police
• Fear of Jesus and resistance toward God
• Fear of babies
  

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Parts/Alter personalities

I would like to talk briefly about alter personalities here. I don't like these wordings very much, so I will use 'parts'.

Alter personalities are always a part of the main personality. They form under the enormous pressure of overwhelming trauma and neglect. These parts can even form before birth, due to trauma in the womb. In fact, the personality never really develops as one, because these traumatic experiences start way before the child is ever able to develop a sense of identity, a sense of self. Survivors of ritual abuse have never known anything but a life with (many) other parts inside and they will often refer to themselves as 'we'. It is important to always remember that these parts are inherent parts of the person, even though they themselves will often not feel it that way anymore. But they have developed from within.

Dissociation and splitting off of parts becomes the way to deal with not only the overwhelming trauma of the abuse, but every other situation in life, so during the life of the survivor many parts can come into existence even after the abuse seems to have stopped.
Different parts have different tasks and jobs within the system. And there may be different systems of parts within the person, every one of those consisting of yet more parts.

Parts split off and form spontaneously due to the extreme trauma, but cults also use all kinds of torture methods to create specific parts for specific jobs within the cult. And they program these parts for those jobs. To create these parts, the cult can use torture with electroshocks, 'spinning' torture, mirror programming, other methods of torture and inflicting pain to the victim, intensive training for specific jobs (for example, victims that are trained from a very early age to ritually kill people) etc. Programmed parts and cult parts do not know any other life but being in the cult.

You can read more about parts on the pages DID and Dealing with trauma.

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The spiritual aspect

Perpetrators of ritual abuse usually want to program and brainwash their victims with a certain doctrine. Most survivors say they have been abused by satanic cults. And so they were to be brainwashed with satanic ideas.

I want to look at the spiritual aspect of satanic ritual abuse.

Trigger warning: the following information will contain triggers.

Victims will often be indoctrinated with satanic ideas from birth. Good and bad are turned around: good is bad, and bad is good. They are taught that satan is god and that the God of the Bible is a weak god. They are taught that satan won the victory when he killed Jesus at the cross, and that Jesus is dead now. Satanists believe that satan has all the power and they can get power and favors from satan by doing what he wants them to do, by bringing sacrifices and performing rituals.
A lot of biblical things are mocked, like the Lord's supper. They mock that in their black masses where they drink blood and eat flesh from animals and humans, whom they have ritually killed first.
The death of Jesus on the cross is mocked by the inverted cross and by nailing their victims to a cross.
Sometimes they will say that Jesus is also present at the rituals and approves of them, or someone is dressed up like Jesus and participates in the rituals and torture, hurting the victim the most.
Their purpose is to gain control over their victims, to gain power and control over this world, to mock the gospel of Jesus Christ and to expand evil on this earth.
By brainwashing their victims with their ideas, they are participating in this..

One of the things that I come across time and again when talking with survivors, is that their own will has been taken from them in the cult. Their own will has been broken, by all the abuse, torture, programming and mind control. Now the victim/survivor does not even know anymore that he or she has a will to make decisions for themselves. And also their conscience is being destroyed.

The victim is made to feel that he or she is chosen by satan and is made to feel that that is something good and special.
Within satanic cults is a hierarchy. There are different positions. To get to a higher position in the cult, one has to suffer first and endure a lot of pain and torture. If and when the victims get through that, they are very special and they climb on the cult ladder. And they are allowed to do to others what was done to them, which gives them a sense of power and compensation for their own suffering.
A child that lives through a certain torture or abuse, is told that that is because he or she is special to satan and that she now belongs

One of the worst things that these cults do to bind their victims to them, is to force them to participate in the ritual killings. They make the child a perpetrator from a very young age. They are being forced to kill and they are trained in it.

For example perpetrators can force a child to kill an animal by taking his or her hands with the knife in it and then kill the animal. The child is make to feel that it is responsible for the death of that animal. They are told that this is what they did and so they are bad now too, like the perpetrators. Now they belong.

Children are being programmed with a false sense of belonging when they don't belong anywhere else and feel bad about themselves and then are told that they do belong with the cult. It is an inherent need of every child to belong somewhere and this is what the perps use.

Victims will be programmed to think that they don't belong anywhere except with the cult and that they will never belong anywhere. The cult is their family, their home.
Victims will be programmed into silence and secrecy. They will be made to watch and even participate in the ritual killing of traitors so they will know what the cult does to traitors, and victims can and will be programmed to kill themselves when they think of telling what was done to them.
Victims can be programmed to kill others, for example others that they have told about the abuse, others that know too much, other people that are supporting them to get out of the cult and break free.
Cults will threaten their victims to scare them so they won't talk. Victims will be told that they will go crazy, or that no one will believe them, or that someone they love will die when they start talking about what happened to them.
Victims will be made to feel inferior so they will have a strong desire for power and control over others and the cult can use this.
Victims will be made perpetrators so there is no way out for them and they will not tell because they have participated in the rituals.
Children will be made very afraid of the police. The police is involved in the cult or one of the cult members dresses up like a police officer. And children are told that the police will arrest them when they tell, because they have participated and they are made to believe that they are perpetrators too.
Victims will be programmed to return to the cult later in life or do jobs for the cult like selecting new members, involvement in drugs, murder, pornography, prostitution etc.

The cult uses a lot of different methods for their programming. They use pain, fear, shame and guilt. They abuse and torture the victim, they use mirrors and pictures, they use bright lights and tapes with messages on them that will be repeated over and over again. Victims are being tortured with electroshocks, being confined, being deprived of food, water and sleep, being threatened and forced to watch while others are being tortured and ritually killed, being forced to take drugs and there is more, so much more that victims of ritual abuse have to endure.....

With this programming they create cult alters within the victim and that way the cult can have easy access to the victim to get them to do their job for the cult, to reprogram them if necessary and to have control over the victim. They can program these parts with certain names and codes and so when they need that particular part they can trigger it so it will come out and do what the cult wants them to do, what they were programmed to do. Because of the dissociative disorder the main person will usually have amnesia for what the cult part does.

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Demons

Satanists believe in the spiritual realm of satan and his accomplices, the demons. Demons can give them power to reach satan's goals. To get this power they have to perform certain rituals in which they evoke demons to enter them and give them supernatural power and control.

Children can be and often are submitted to these kinds of rituals as well, and so they can become possessed. I know this is a very risky subject to write about, but I also know that the truth needs to be spoken, also about this, and to a lot of survivors this is very real. To ignore this, will be to deny some of their experiences.

Please click here to read more about the DIFFERENCE between parts and demons.

Christian perspective

As a Christian I too believe in the spiritual realm. I BELIEVE survivors of satanic ritual abuse. I also believe that Jesus Christ my Lord is stronger than satan.
In satanism the battle between God and satan is made to be a battle of two adversaries on the same level, which satan supposedly won. But reality is different! The truth is that God is the Creator and He is the Most High. Satan is merely a creature that rebelled against God, but the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, beat him when He died on the cross and rose from death. He fought the devil and He conquered. This defeat and humiliation is something that satan can not bear. He cannot get over it and that is why he always tries to deceive people with his lies, one of them being that he does not even exist. He came to destroy, but our Lord Jesus Christ came to save, heal and restore, to take back what satan stole.

It is obvious that survivors of ritual abuse will encounter a lot of spiritual problems because of the brainwashing with satanic ideas.
Many survivors are afraid of Jesus, afraid to go to church. Afraid because they feel bad, evil even, afraid that God will reject them. Unfortunately a lot of churches are not exactly safe places for survivors, but God will NEVER reject anyone who comes to Him.
Survivors of ritual abuse will usually not trust anyone and with good reason. It is not safe for them to trust anyone, and often they are programmed to think that they will never belong anywhere anyway, especially not with people who truly believe in Jesus.
But....a lot of ritual abuse survivors turn to Jesus in their lives, and give their lives to Him. They see more clearly than other people that the power of Jesus is greater than the power of satan.
When they give their lives to Jesus, they will sooner or later be confronted with their memories of abuse and with the programming that has been done. Then the battle to break free really starts.
This battle can be won, because Jesus has conquered satan, but survivors will need our help. They will need people to listen to them, support them, bring them to safe places, even take them in sometimes. They need good therapists and a safe place to begin dealing with the trauma and break the programming. And they need people to believe them, really believe them and stand/sit right beside them in their suffering and sorrow and withdraw or be afraid....

I want to say that God created us with a free will. A choice to serve Him or not. To know this is essential for survivors. God has given them a free will. It is the one thing that is essential to God, I believe. Because it is the one thing that satan wants to destroy. And cults do try to destroy this in their victims completely, through ritual abuse and programming. So survivors will not know anymore that they have a will, or a choice to say 'no' and go against programming. But they can. God always preserves our will, our soul, somewhere inside. To be able to do this they must be in a safe place, because programming and memories can kill. Truth is they can recover their will and their ability to make choices. We can help survivors become aware of this, by letting them know and by respecting them, and by working together to strengthen their will.

On the Dealing with trauma page you can find some advise for counselors and more information on how to start dealing with these overwhelming traumatic experiences.

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